People Pleaser?

Instead of concentrating on relationships that matter we tend to thin ourselves out over the many. I’m not saying you cannot try to socialize and be kind to as many people as possible. I’m saying that if you took all the time you had and tried to give it to everyone with the same amount of effort, you really might find yourself exhausted and really not invested in any of them. So, how do we choose who gets the most attention?

For this post, I’d like to share my learns at establishing an audience and establishing a Great base of people to connect with from that I learned establishing IBtP. A social experiment and life project IBtP has given me a ton of learns.

No doubt every relationship we can create matters. I get anxiety when I just lose one follower on IBtP. If I spent all my time trying to keep all followers by giving them equally what they’d like to see on the site, I’d be everywhere and nowhere with my focus or intention.

I’ve found there is a greater return  in my satisfaction in relationships from a very small few. These few happen to be my base and for the most part have very similar focuses and their own base of followers that I can get introduced to that really give me the learns or stories I need to improve my work/life.

Find your circle and your group. Feed and connect often with that group. Do not make you scope wide, make it deep and focused. The rest will take care of itself as they expose you or your work to more of their base.

Make a list of what really matters to you and map that out as your compass. Then find bloggers or writers that share that same view and connect with them. Be ready and open to being criticized by this group, they will be your best judges on whether you’re on track or not. If you picked wisely, their ideals and thoughts will align with yours. This makes their feedback incredibly valuable as you move on.

This isn’t social engineering, this is just what I’ve learned using absolutely no quick fixes. The best kind of learning in my experience is the one that has no quick fix to get there. I love leaning into learning and what I can learn from failing. The learns I’ve gained have stuck with me far longer than a short cut would have. Does it take longer to build an audience, yes. Would I do it this way again if I only had a limited amount of time to gain an audience, yes.

A short post for those curious on getting more from their blogs or sites. Or, for those just trying to create a better social circle and be more accountable to the communities around them. Hang in there. You can use short cuts if you’d like to gain an audience fast. You won’t learn as much. That said, I’ve found it much more enriching to gain my audience slowly and steadily over time. As you do, focus on that foundation of early adopters. Learn from them and contribute to their work. As you do, you will find many more that you will follow and that will follow you.

Stay vigilant. If it’s really worth it to you and it’s something you want, you will figure it out.

✌ Shawn