What would an ideal life be for you? Better yet, once you have it, how would you bring that ideal reality into life? Our biggest struggle keeps us from even getting started. That struggle happens to be for most of us, taking the first step. I’ve found in my time that creating lasting change in myself and finding those ideal moments takes a lot of inspiration.
What was perhaps the hardest for me was being able to look back on what I was accomplishing and doing, then feeling fulfilled in that work. Additionally, I wanted to do it with no regrets, but just satisfaction in what I was able to do. Not just get caught up or trapped in what I failed to do. Fulfillment is not something that just happens to most of us. It is a skill to recognize it and protect it. Learning how to deal with doubt or setbacks is a at times for a tremendous thing to overcome.
One of the simplest ways I can share with you that I feel empowered by what I do and what I’ve done by the end of the day is a simple journaling practice of reflection. Before I start each day I take a few minutes to recall what I am thankful for. Then again for a few minutes at the end of the day I do the same thing with a little twist. I reflect on what made the day great and only what made it great, with one thing that I could’ve done differently at the very end. I am intentionally being proportional in my ratio of positives to negatives in my reflection time.
“Those who can picture their future don’t need to wait to see what life deals them; they proactively create their lives in accordance with their desires.”
– Jairek Robbins
It’s really interesting. When I’ve allowed my vision of what I want in my life to be fuzzy and general, that’s what it ends being. Many times even disappointing. But when I work hard to clarify what a perfect day could be and was, I feel much more accomplished. It’s a simple exercise in reflection with a powerful empowering outcome. When you do it 7 days a week, that’s 14 micro reflections that add up to a really clear picture of success in yourself. It’s invigorating and it’s essential.
One of the biggest issues is what our discrepancy is between what we really understand to be important and how we actually use the time to invest in that. The exercise above which literally can be no more than 5 minutes a day can bring the scale and scope into account. Our significance doesn’t really spring up in the day to day. But they will when we can set aside some intentional time to just reflect and bring those moments back into perspective.
Have you ever looked beyond just yourself for the examples to a great day? Anyone in your close circles that you just wonder how they do it everyday? Jairek reminds us below why this is an important exercise by itself as well:
“Every person you meet in life is either a warning or an example: an example of what to do or a warning of what not to do. Which one are you being right now in your life?”
– Jairek Robbins
These same people in our circles can lead us astray as well. We can’t let others tell us how to live our life. At the end of the day you are the only one that knows that. It’s like your DNA of happiness. It’s uniquely imprinted to you and another person can’t possibly understand it because they have different DNA. There will be others that will try to influence you.
A recent HBR study on feedback I learned that 50% of the feedback someone gives you has their own bias in it, their own idea of what right is. Your ideas will almost always find conflict in someone else’s ideas of what right is. You will need to build your skills in coping with doubt as others will try to make you feel it in some way with their advice or feedback. It takes your commitment, it takes a big degree of perseverance, and in fact showing yourself consistently that you are capable.
Fail to plan, plan to fail. How we go into our day with less focus on prioritizing urgency and more on importance will ensure our ideal day has a better chance to be realized. The above simple reflection exercise mentioned in the beginning of this post is one way to prioritize. Simple acts of putting yourself in a perspective of being greatful decreases anxiety as well as depression. Each day brings something different to be grateful for I found. Consistently practicing this way of thinking eliminated me from being stuck on autopilot from day to day. Each day I found some positive reason for it to be better than the previous day.
With just some simple tweaks to above to your daily habits, you can bring your ideal life into reality. It takes some persistence, commitment, and positive thinking with a strong belief in yourself to even get the chance to see the possibilities. Every morning I note down three things that I am thankful for. Not only does it bring into scope all the things in my life that I am thankful for, it gives me the fuel I need to do this for others.
Thanks for reading. I hope the week started off really strong for you. Don’t change to please others, start with yourself first.