You want to self-develop? Do you want to be the best coach and manage people more effectively? Then feedback is an art you want to get your hands around. First, how you take and get feedback. Then you can start to give it to others. The ability for you take any kind of feedback positively-constructively will give you incredible leverage in your personal and professional focuses.
Feedback is some of the hardest work to take on. Especially getting it. No one steps up and says, “Hey, I really need a beat down right now on my work I put most of my life into.” We shy away from it, avoid it, and pretty much ignore it because it can be so personal. We should also give it as much as we receive it. If we really want others around us we care about to be at their best, it’s required.
I’ve learned there are pretty much three different kinds of feedback in my life/career one can get: appreciation, coaching, and evaluation. They each do something or activate something different too. Appreciation motivates and encourages you. Coaching is tough, but it really brings out your potential or unperceived potential out. Evaluation lets you know where you stand.
Of course as you think about getting those types of feedback they are for different kinds of situations. There are times where you could get all three in one day too. So stayed incredibly close to what your needs are or those of others around you. This will be your compass on what type of feedback to give or get. When you can master what type of feedback you can get and need at the right time, you’ve unlocked a big piece of optimizing your performance.
Now you got it and are getting it, we have to translate it. Emotion, especially when it’s something you’ve poured yourself into, can be tricky or get in our way of receiving the message feedback has. When you’re the receiver the best thing you can do is probe for the intention of the feedback before you react to it. Look for keys in the feedback. There can be fluff in what you’re getting. Discern and find the best parts of the feedback. People can have more access to information we just don’t have, so don’t be so dismissive of what you’re getting or hearing from the person.
Feedback has made it possible for me to be more self-aware by eliminating blind spots. We don’t see ourselves the way others do or objectively, which means we need to be open to it. Or, it could come back around catching us off guard when we least expect it. It’s interesting as a human. We judge ourselves by our internal intentions. Yet, we’ll judge others by their actions. We have to be more self-aware that we do this as we view ourselves more positively than others who are watching our actions. Use feedback to find out what the perception others have of you are judging you by with just your actions.
Simple Fact: Strangers give the best feedback. It is easier to take feedback from someone without any ulterior motives.
Grabbing feedback from people I don’t have a really deep relationship is the best feedback I can get. Why? Simple, they don’t Know me or owe me anything. It’s going to be raw and with a fresh set of eyes. Again, judging me probably mostly by my actions which will be a big tell for me on what blindspots I do or don’t have. We still need to consider our feelings toward the person giving the feedback and how they feel about us.
Now we’ve determined where and a little bit better on who to get the feedback from, we need to ensure we’re analyzing it right. Think about your current well-being. Someone that has a really low and bad state of well-being will not take feedback more than likely, correctly. Someone with a positive well-being will respond better. Someone with a positive well-being will have more stamina and endurance to take constructive feedback for longer periods of time. Our left and right side of our brains interrupt feedback differently based on negative or positive. Happier people have stronger brain activity and can receive it as well as process it better when in a positive state of well-being. So, don’t go get feedback right away unless your well-being is prepared to receive it.
Another way to be a great getter of feedback is to have a growth mindset about your work. Focusing on how you want to grow will set the table for inspiring you to get feedback. Someone that believes their traits are fixed, will not be as open to evolving or changing them from feedback they receive. If we can shift our minds to perceive a challenge as an opportunity to grow, and feedback we receive as a way of learning (not getting criticized), we will evolve. We will improve and get better over time significantly faster.
Feedback is something over our career and life that we will continue. Sometimes even when we don’t want it or are ready for it. Whether we agree or not doesn’t really matter. It can be used to help us grow if we let it. There will be no limit to your personal development if you can learn to process it right!
✌🏻 Shawn
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